Romi just woke up so I must interrupt my creative thoughts until I can find more time.

I was in wonder of what I had been seeing with Razelle, she was resisting what was and creating something new instead of excepting what was.  I told her many clients who I had worked with over the years where pain had turned to movement.  I told her about 2 clients where pain began in the quads and as it went away controlled movement came.  Then the pain went into the hamstrings, then it went away and coordinated movement came.  Then the calves then the shins.  Each time the pain would be huge then it would go away and movement would come.  It was so very clear with these 2 particular clients.  So I threw out to Razelle what if it is not pain but immature nervous system pathways getting a confused signal.  I was not trying and am not trying to minimalize what anyone is feeling.  I am just asking a question.  So is it not possible that with focus or movement the signal increases, thus the sensory return increases?  Can we change the perspective just a bit to see something in a new light.  One that empowers us, one that helps us grow.  Instead of running (so to speak) away from what is we go at it.  In return for our courage to go at something instead of going away from it we have the opportunity to grow.  This takes an unbelievable amount of faith and trust in ones self.  I have been blessed by being able to play with some amazing people who have said that the pain helps them focus and find areas better and create movement with.  The courage and bravery of these clients is inspiring and amazing.  To go at pain on a chronic basis takes so much strength of character.  When Razelle altered her perception of the pain it changed, not went away but mellowed.  The pain in her back also went down signifigantly when she stopped putting her leg pain in her back.  Amazing, just like that.  Reality changed forever with a different perspective.  Beautiful.  The mind can be amazing tool, if we know how it works.  How can we use it more efficiently to support us in creating our lives?  How can we go from victim to master?

Hum more questions than answers.  Typical with me.

The month I have been so priveledged to spend with Razelle is almost over,  2 days left with maybe 5 or so hours of one on one. She has helped me to open up to so many of my gifts.  We have about 6 hours of film of her doing incredible things.  She and her father came over for dinner the other day and Razelle hit the floor and was crawling like a champ.  Up in a chair to talk with Lea then down on the floor and over to the sofa where Willam and I were.  It was awesome to see it click in her head that she could move all around the floor and have the freedom to create so much movement.  Hell she can walk on her knees pushing a big block or chair or wheelchair.  It will be awesome to hear the stories of how the people she interacts with at home begin to get on the floor with her to support her in creating her life.  I hope they have nice soft floors everywhere.

Morgan and Viktor hosted a party to celebrate the end of their time at the beach house, as could be expected there were many wonderful people there.  Morgan was glowing as she usually does.  I am honored to be able to play with them and co create with them.

Trina just texted me at 530 am, she is up and rolling I guess.  It must be the southern California air.  She is moving here in a month and then we will begin to co create as she transitions into life much farther north.  Trina has been working with an old friend of mine, Jim.  We worked together at PW back in the day.  He is a gamer, always willing to try something cool.  I think of the days where we had Lindsay, Jerry, Jim, Dave, Eric, and I all working with the same clients.  Man oh man that was fun.  Such a different atmosphere than now, not better or worse.  Trina has so much heart energy, I have so much enjoyed the time that I have spent with her and look forward to whatever comes up.

I met with Karen on Friday and we set in motion the plans to do the Adaptive Spin class beginning when the rain comes.  I love that class, an hour of spinning with about 40 minutes of intervals, driven by Peter and Karen.  I usually am not able to talk much due to the chunk of vomit in my throat, so it is awesome to have Peter there.  His energy and expertise are invaluable.  So if it is like last year we will have maybe 6-8 hand cycles on trainers and several road bikes on trainers for the classes.  It is awesome to see the clients that want to workout that hard.  This is not a class for someone that wants to socialize.

This is indeed a time of transition, the end of one thing and the beginning of another.  The rain I guess will turn on here in a bit and then it will do that till July.  For a kid from SoCal that is funny to say.  It would be funnier if I cared.  For resisting the weather is like resisting where one is.

Morgan was so brilliantly glowing, she and Viktor found a place to stay for a bit in town so she was way unstressed.   She caught me looking at the spin bike and she said hell yes.  She got on the bike as Jason assisted with anchoring her hips.  I assisted her in spinning the pedals over.  I was feeling for that speed where I could feel her legs creating the movement, too fast and that goes away too slow and it goes away.  Exactly like finding my 105 cadence where it is just perfect, 130 too light on gear 60 too heavy on gear.  She rode forwards, backwards, she balanced on her own and rode.  It was an awesome bike experience.  The window closed on that movement and we went to the TG about a minute later Diane brought Jordan in.  Jason came and played with Morgan on the TG then to the table for shoulder/ arm moves and some bridges.  I thanked Morgan and told her I would be back.

Jordan and I hung out moving around for a while before he decided to create dynamic movement.  I would keep offering it to him as I rolled him over and put him in a position where if he so wanted to he could move but he did not.  So I would bring him back and move him to show his body neutrality of joints and move the energy that was stuck in his hands and feet away so the energy would move and promote his use of those parts.  Jordan’s hands released and he began to reach for Diane’s fingers.  As he was creating with her I touched his feet , they released the energy as well.  In my head I heard the words stand, so I moved him and helped him through the sticking point and BAM he was up.  The rest of the workout he was very vocal and dynamic.  I once again was transformed into a fluid balancing frame.  Jordan can hold him weight up no problem so I just move with him finding the sweet spots to assist him in whatever he chooses to create.  It was so much fun.  We did about 30 minutes of big dynamic moving.  What an intense little guy.  Towards the end of our time Diane put one of our squishy hand size balls on the table it is bright green right in his eye sight.  Jordan could not let that thing stay there so he began to bring his arms up and he began to push the ball around.  We played like this for probably 15 minutes.  He pushed it off the table a hand full of times.  Here is a kid that for 9 years did not move, now he has the coordination to effect/ shit no create his world.  Thank you Jordan and Diane for being you.

Back to morgan for bridges, pelvis tilts, and our faviorite kneeling.  She was telling me how her midsection has been the most unalive part on her body as far as sensory and motor.  She was then telling me how it is coming alive and she feels as if she is one complete unit instead of legs/ torso/ and shoulders.  I see it in her hips and legs getting more and more nervous system signals and strength.  Having her tell me these things was beautiful, I just watch her wire her brain.  Beautiful.  In the bridges she was connecting with the ground through her feet, for her to feel this and use it saying when she focused on different parts of her feet and legs she would feel her muscles in different parts of her activate.  This detailed connection with her feet just blew me away.  Morgan has (in my interpretation) been flooded with sensation and had a hard time looking into it and decifering what is what.  This is me putting her world together for her, my thoughts.  Maybe real but not real.  So for her to find this shows her how to feel and use her body.  Morgan had about 3 beautiful insights about herself and her world.  I love watching her create the thoughts from the feeling and not the other way around.  

After lunch Razelle came in for the workout.  I asked her what she wanted to do she said work so very hard.  I had spoken with her about how I use exercise or physical stress to open up the hind brain to open up the door to insights.  After our morning I am guessing she wanted to go there.  We did tons of movements.  Honestly I was dead, I gave everything I had physically to the workout.  Razelle created so much movement.  She was finding all kinds of positions that by herself she could create with.  She found what movement felt like in her right back where it had been frozen since the injury.  So now her back is moving way more bi laterally and with all 4 directions the spine should move.

My world is pressed for time now so I will highlight Wednesday with Razelle.

She kneeled on her own for over 12 minutes as she did many different movements with her whole body.  Tons of rotation, pushing pulling all while staying soft but powerful in the hips.

We stood and danced for probably 15-20 minutes moving back and forth and round and round.  Sometimes I lead sometimes she.  I even let go on occaissions to watch as she trusts herself to find her groove.  All the time I am about half an inch from her.  I was flashed back to my 7th grade dances.  Only now was creative and flowing and infinite and then was in my head never good enough.

Blaise came in and danced with Razelle in the afternoon as well.  I always enjoy watching Blaise move, it was wonderful to see her processing that experience.

Needless to say these are exciting times with the clients that come in and open the door to creating their lives with us.  I am so very honored to be playing in this life and creating my life.

I heard a client tell me that we will be open by the first in the new gym.  I am looking forward to Murray coming back and interacting with us.  Also I had a session with Nancy, maybe we will see her a bit in the future- that would be cool.  I began writing this with the intent of recalling my experiences with Vickie.  Oh well.  As my mom has always said you never know what you are going to get with me(apples, oranges, bananas- she always called me fruit salad.  I call it consciousness.  The fundraising committee is in full swing preparing for the societies fundraiser on September 29th.  A fashion show with a silent auction.  I am looking forward to seeing Lea model on the runway.  yummy.  I do hope the ride with Razelle works out today.  Morgan was beautiful enough to loan Razelle a hand cycle.  I was gonna show the Calgary girl the goose.  Welp coffee is gone so I will go.  Create an amazing day

Our Calgary girls never cease to amaze me.  I have had the honor of meeting some wonderful souls from Calgary.  Across the board.  Beautiful people.  Razelle the wonderful is continuing her journey with us here.  I do not speak over truths or exaggerate , the workouts with her have been incredible.  It is like every minute she or I have insights, feel new sensations, get new movement, creating our worlds.  This is happening for both of us, it is wonderful.  She decided she wanted to be a cat, with her strength on the floor in hands and knees, kneeling, split kneeling she is beginning to move as a cat would.  The right side of her body activated the first week and neutralized her trunk and hips.  The second week she began to strengthen her nervous system signals in her hips, and legs.  The signal began to get into the quads, hip flexors, glutes, up and low hammys.  The range of motion of the signals effeciency is getting more full.  The strength of the signal is moving up.  She put on visible muscle mass on her right pelvis.  The third week we played with tons of kneeling, split kneeling, crawling.  She put on visible muscle mass on her right leg.  Her body is very well integrated into this kind of movement.  She was kneeling, holding onto her wheel chair back and after a bit she just let go and kneeled perfectly.  She was holding it so well that I began to rotate her shoulders back and forth and she was still holding on and not cheating.  On one of them I got her off balance and she just continued to create her movement, as I stabilized her and moved her right back into what she was doing and it flowed so beautifully.  She trusted me and did not even flinch.  Eventually she gave out from complete exhaustion.  She went right to the edge and did not back down.  She did not ask if she should let go she just did.  She created it, she trusted the voice that she has heard since her injury , She Can Move Her Body  It was awesome.  She jumped off the cliff only to find her wings.  She has always had them she just forgot them.  We were split kneeling on Thursday, that is where she is kneeling with 2 big blocks next to her on each side.  I move around on front of her and assist her in bringing her leg and foot through placing it on the floor flat.  She is on one knee and one foot to the ground.  She began to play with the position and got to the point on each side where she was stabilizing her hips and legs.  Both sides.  For her to be able to stabilize her body with the right hip in that position shows incredible positional strength.  Her left leg is not in position to do the work is incredible to see this body and her soul and her mind co create this.  She was also stabilizing her plant leg through the ground and maintaining her knee position.  Her smile would have lit up Vancouver.  This girl is so open, vulnerable, and powerful I am blessed to spend the amount of time with her that I do.  She has shown me so many of my gifts.  The fourth week is unwritten.  Russ if you are reading this.  Thank you, this is because of you and your journey.

I am going to go play with the girls at home on my day off.  I found out this week Vickie walked down the aisle at her wedding and even danced.  That was what she asked me to assist her with when she came in a power chair her first day in April of this year.  She is amazing, creating her world.  I will go on about this in a day or so.

peace out

I got my ass kicked by an 11 year old last Thursday.  Every since Jordan has felt and learned that by using the bottom of his feet he can begin to stand and create dynamic crawling or knee walking he has been on fire.  This is a kid who for 9 years did not put pressure on his feet, his feet were so hyper sensitive so he is creating the circuits and opening up to reducing pain by creating movement.  Also it is perfect timing for Diane to come back from vacation, not that Phil did not do a great job because he did.  I have watched his connection to Jordan get stronger over the years, but with Diane back Jordan felt at ease to open the emotional doorway.  So now I am in a very demanding position under small load for extended periods of time in order to support Jordan in his creating movement.  I am hunched over in a semi squat holding this 60 pound object that is moving all over the place, trying to promote the freedom of movement while also protecting and ensuring the safety of his physical body.  A very physical dance between him and I where we are right on that edge, not thinking of what could go wrong but being very aware of where I am and where Jordan is.  I worked with him for an hour and a half of which probably all but 15 minutes were dancing, he is finding his feet.  I look back at a year ago when the bottom of my feet were so hyper sensitive and non mobile.  Lea could not even touch them to offer a foot massage.  I was always warned against going barefoot as a child and thus never did, pretty soon it hurt so bad when I did that I did not.  That was programmed in at a very young age.  I perpetuated that programming as I grew older.  A year ago I could not even walk on flat rocks without major discomfort.  I remember watching Blaise run over jagged rocks barefoot so effrotlessly and I was barely walking over them without crying (a slight exaggeration)  The last year was about opening up to allowing the feeling of pain in my feet and watching it and observing my reactions to it.  Slowly over time desensitizing myself to what I feel, low and behold my feet began to come alive.  Now I create running over things that I never even walked over before.  Sensory went down and movement went up.  They were paralysed, Brian the wizard might call it the casting effect.  They came alive.  As do the clients.  I did not have a spinal cord injury but I had paralysed hyper sensitive painful feet, and they have come alive and now create movement without pain.  This is what I see everyday from the clients.  Awareness opens the doorway for us to create the physical body we choose to create.  As we focus on what we desire to create we do, if we focus on where we are then we stay there.  Welp I gotta eat before I go into the gym to dance with the amazing people who come to co create movement with me.

I will start with Razelle, here is an amazing woman, such an old soul.  Her consciousness and connection with that is beautiful we have been working out for a week and a half 2 workouts a day.  When she came in she had one way dominant side and an unactivated side.  First move on the table pull your knee to your chest.  When she did she turned into a C shape.  There was nothing supporting this quadzilla.  I say that with humorous love.  In one day she created a neutral pelvis under light demand.  The second day she built resilliancy in her neutral position with a heavier demand load.  The third day she began to seriously get nervous system signals into her low back and hips.  Then into the feet and ankles.  The right side has come alive.  By the end of week one she was kneeling by herself, she would begin to torque the upper body under that load, and the hips would bail into her old pattern.  She also crawled at the end of the first week, ride the spin bike with minimal tracking assistance.  She is learning by feeling how her body works it is amazing to be part of.  She had a long weekend and yesterday had positional pain issues.  She was beginning to see how her body responds to movement and lack of movement plus seeing the movements that she is choosing to do at home and how they effect her.  Watching her nervous system the physical body and her mental body and her emotional body come together and process sensory information is amazing it is like watching a computer download files.  Her eyes are amazing so full of life.  Today we worked for an hour and a half.  At the end of it I got a feeling we should stand.  So I pulled her over her ankles and rocked back and we stood up.  This is the first time we had stood up from the floor (Donny style)  I assisted with blocking her right knee with my knee.  We begaan to rock side to side to the Cat Stevens music.  Pretty soon we were doing hip circles with me holding her hips and her arms around my neck.  I melted away and sunk into her, she did the same into me and all of a sudden I felt bolts of electricty go down each side of her body into  the floor.  And she held her hips and was doing the circles, leading the dance.  I was shocked but let it go.  We continued until I could feel tension and stress in my body and her signal was weakening.  I let go again and melted into her and she into me and her signals came back and she was dancing the other way leading me.  When the doorway shut in me then I helped her sit down onto the floor.  She was wide eyed to say the least.  I was feeling as if I had just dropped into some amazing current of creativity that was effortless and mindless.

Jordan came in with Diane and I could tell he was internal big time.  Not frustrated internal but child seeing mom after 10 days internal.  I sat with him with absolutely no intention for about a half hour.  In that time I talked with him about how awesome it was that Diane was back.  Phil did an awesome job for the 10 days but mom is where his emotional body lives.  I watch Romi do that everyday so I had a good idea where Jordan was.  Physically he was on his belly and side with legs rotated big time and hamstrung. So I touched him very lightly all over just letting my hands wander.  At one point I was around his right hand which was under his torso a bit.  He opened his hand and grabbed my hand and held it lightly, when he did he looked into my eyes and paused.  He was letting me know that he knew I was letting him be him and not trying to get him to do anything.  This is how I interact with Romi also.  A couple of moments later he begins to come alive and he starts showing me he wants to create movement.  So I help him onto his knees and hands.  He does not want that and kneels up, his femurs are so rotated that I help him with his hips up but he is holding her, I am doing only assisting him in his movements.  All of a sudden he finds the bottom of his right foot and rocks forward, I begin to hold his weight and let him move.  The leg pressed down and he felt the floor began to raise up.  I am following him and allowing him to move as freely as possible.  HIs left foot finds the floor and he stands up and load bears through both feet and legs.  This all took maybe 2 seconds it was a fully integrated stand up from kneeling with me following him and showing him where to balance.  His legs were straight, although heavily rotated through the femurs but he was doing it.  We spent the next 45 minutes doing that.  He nailed it 2x where it was so fluid it was unbelieveable.  4-6 times more we did it with pauses to find things then success.  After about 5 minutes each set I would have to put him on the floor so I could rest.  When I did I would yell and pump my arms.  He would also throw his arms up over his head and he would shout too.  I played around with positioning and he was learning so fast.  Diane says she sees him changing daily, he is like a super computer putting together circuits and downloading files by the second.

Of course I did not get any film of these magical moments.  I ran out yesterday filming Razelle do kneeling roller coasters.  I missed Morgan today.  What a trifecta that would have been.

Razelle’s Dad called me a bit ago and said Razelle’s body was in chaos and she was sleeping.  I called him back and asked how she was, there was huge pain and she was sleeping.  I asked him to relay to her that with what she did she rocked the foundation of her life today.  Everything has progressed in her journey with being on her feet and dancing intimately her world was shakened.  I let him know she will be processing that big time and we do not know how she will respond.  It is perfect although.  He felt relieved.  

Welp time to go meet up with Greg and Flo for coffee.  I am so very honored to be creating my world.  I am so honored by the people whop come to me.  They allow me to come into form.  Into the room.  Out of my head.

YIPPIE

smilen jj

Back in the gym has been amazing, the clients are continuing their healing and we are co creating fantastic things.  I will details some of those in the days to come.   For now let it be said that I am so honored to have been able to co create what happened in Regina.  Had it all gone smooth and well, my ego would have thought I was god.  At least with how things unfolded I am staying in the room focusing on the people who come to me to assist them in creating the movements to create movement.

Thank you so very much Dan for showing me things about myself that I would have never seen if we would have not created all this.  Thank you so very much to the people who come to me for showing me things about myself and my gifts.  Without you there would be no form to me.  What an amazing world we create.  Welcome back Diane.

Frank and Ann Marie just happen to live 10 miles from where we were camping in Parksville so I decided to spend some time away from the 5-8 kids hanging from my body at any one moment and go to their home to meet them.  They live in a magical place overlooking the ocean.  When I met them they seemed very down to earth and had great energy.  Frank had recently gotten out of the hospital and showed me how he could bring his knees together in his chair.  As he was detailing his movement and his nerve pain I began to get goose bumps over my body.  A feeling came over me that he could move so much more.  So after a bit we went into the garage where he had a table similar to the ones we use.  Immediately his body began to create small movements in muscle groups he had not discussed earlier.  As far as I could see the signals and coordinated movement were all over his thighs and some in his glutes.  I spent quite a bit of time finding a movement then showing Ann Marie how to help him finish the moves.  I had to be very mindful that Ann Marie and Frank are in their sixties and moving someone’s legs with them is physically challenging.  We spent about 2 hours together and I enjoyed every minute of it.  I love helping someone open the door to what they felt was there but never knew how to access it.  So as I was leaving they were talking about coming down for a couple of days to visit and explore the possibilities.  A week later they did come down.  I was excited to see Frank on the TG relearning the squat pattern with coordinated movement.  I was stoked by watching him pedal the spin bike by himself.  The best part for me though was the last 30 minutes we were together.  We moved around on the table where I assisted him in bridging, kneeling, and crawling.  He was shown a glimpse of what his body can do, I was honored to be co creating it.

Morgan has been shining so brightly lately, her spirit fills the gym with love.  She is continually creating her healing as her body gets stronger and stronger every week.  There is more movement and more stabilization every session.  She is guiding me more also which is the key to co creation.  Every time she has a suggestion of something to try it works beautifully, this is the key.  She pedaled the spin bike on her own for the first time the other day.  It was beautiful  she is so powerful.  My favorite thing is though that she requests more table work with me now days, where in the past she needed more stimulation to feel and connect with areas in her legs.  Now she has said that just doing small pelvic tilts and bridges opens her hips and low back creating her ability to send and receive signals.  The table work is my passion and my gift, so I am honored to co create it with her.

Another client also rode the spin bike for the first time last week and also had his best day pushing the TG.  Every time he comes back from vacation it takes us a week to open his body  and then he shows more coordination then he had.

Another client is also  beginning to push the TG on a more daily basis.

Little Jordan is coming up to his 2 year anniversary with us.  I have created an awesome video of his progression.  Once Diane gives us her audio details of all the experiences they have created together and what he is showing outside of the gym I will release it and take it to the media.  Jordan has begun to find the bottom of his foot and his toes, as I have watched this I have been laughing because I have known and am seeing now that he has figured out that is how he can move around real fast.  Last week he has begun to load bear from his feet in a standing position.  It takes a bit to assist him in doing so but here is a kid that for 9 years did not move and 2 years later is beginning to stand.  He is so determined and passionate, I just watch him sometimes and see how he just does not give up.  He is one of the biggest gifts in my world, as I interpreted Blaise saying one day Jordan will show you how to work with everyone.  You were right my friend.

We have had a wonderful woman from Calgary come this week and stay for a month.  On the first 2 days I have seen her body process so much and begin to heal so quickly.  Razelle (I call her Razella enchanted, silly Romi)  She is so very open and her energy is amazing.  She has created me to assist her in creating her life.  The time with her is showing me so much about myself.  What my gifts are and what is possible.  She also has begun to suggest we try things and the minute she did WOW it worked amazingly.  What a gift to see that she knows what to do, that she creates her world.  In the first 2 days.  BAM!

I am so blessed to have created this world here on Vancouver Island.  The people around me are incredible.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I leave for Regina this Friday to go and give a workshop to the staff and clients at Level 10 Fitness.  I am looking forward to co creating it with whoever shows up and wishes to play.  This is my first time doing this so I look forward to whatever comes up.  The new gym should be ready sometime in the next 4 weeks.  What a creative world.

As I bring this into a concrete vision I look at the gym now and what is happening.  The space has been filled with the most amazing healing moments since December.  Myself and the clients riding their own waves of creativity going as far as the limitations we all place on ourselves will allow.  The gym has had some amazing people visiting from Alberta and BC.  What a pleasure to be able to go into a space and co create everyday.  Over the past week things have mellowed.  Vickie left to rejoin her life in Nelson.  Greg created taking a week off.  Morgan just told me that she wishes to create coming in one day a week.  The creative energy still fills the moments with clients, there is just less time being spent doing that.  Add into the mix the month of July being littered with vacation time for Jason and I.  There ya go.  Another cycle, up/ down.  I trust in the fact that cycles come and go and the gym will soon enough be filled with people who all come here because they want to create their life and their healing, as I do my own.  So for now I will basque in the sunlight, relax, enjoy what client time there is, and prepare for my presentation in Regina next month.  I am excited to play with Jordan today, he turned 11 last Thursday and is doing some amazing things everyday.  Maybe Greg will decide to come in, maybe Jamie, maybe Dennis.  If someone shows up I will play otherwise I will create my videos for the power point.